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There's no place like home...there's no place like home...
- August, 2000

Well kids, there it was - Zoltan was back in Ontario for the 2000 season (the last season of the Millennium, doncha know). I did a single guest weekend at the very fine Great Lakes Medieval Faire in July, and then back home at the Ontario Renaissance Festival where Zoltan was first spawned.

A lovely and fine Zoltan fan
If you wear it right, one size fits all...
The GLMF was great - I started there with a guest weekend three years ago and this season was neato-peachy as well. I met a lot of new fans while having a blast at the new Chessboard Stage at the back of the faire. All in all a dandy weekend - I hope to be back again for a longer stay in the 2001 season (so if you'd like to email the GLMF and tell them you'd like me to be there too, feel free....)...

In other news, Tshirt sales being what they are, I've decided to launch the Official Zoltan Tshirt Contest! (tm). The rules are simple - send a picture of you in your shirt to zoltan@justadequate.com. The pictures should be provacative, inspired or otherwise interesting - don't just stand there!

Self-inflicted wound pictures are always welcome (Zoltan Tshirts! They staunch wounds!), but really, the contest winners will be the ones that just wedge themselves into my mind (right beside the steel plate, for preference). The winner will receive...a pair of free tickets to the nearest festival at which I'm performing, plus a beer and close-up magic with Zoltan himself! Plus a place on honor for their photo on the Zoltan site! If I receive enough photos, I'll post 'em all and let you folks have your say as to whom the winner might be.

Hey! This chick's hot!
She's a sign-language interpreter - she
doesn't need her mouth...
Hilights from the 2000 Ontario season? Well, in truth, it was rather a rainy season this year, but fine (and perhaps, slightly mentally deficient) folks came out in droves anyway. As with every year, we had an exceptional Deaf Awareness Day, with members of the deaf community in southern Ontario coming out to watch our shows, through the grace of our fine sign language interpreters. And how great are the interpreters? In this one photo you'll note that the fine and lovely Joanne allowed Zoltan to set her tongue on fire. Not my usual way of wooing a woman, but still, a hot tongue is a hot tongue, no matter how you lick it...

In addition, this year Zoltan presented a brand-new, never before seen Extremely Adequate show just once a day, at 5:00 pm. During this new show I hammered a four-inch nail into my head, inserting a foot-long hatpin into my arm, and swallowed sewing needles. It was not for the faint of heart (and in truth, during each and every show there were people who walked away in the middle, and you know, I completely respect their right to not want to watch me injure myself - the little wussies), but I believe that the only way I can be a better Zoltan is to present new material that has the potential to damage my body in a real, uncomfortable, and painful way.

So! To sum up! There's a new Tshirt contest for you all to participate in, I presented a brand-new show that was, measuring the disgust of the audience, as successful as I'd hoped it would be, and I've finally come to grips with my sexuality, and the sexuality of Groucho and Harpo Marx (but not Chico. Never Chico). Plus rats, fire-eating, and lots and lots of blood!

See you next year...

     signed, Zoltan the Adequate
(Tshirt photo by Michael J. Derbecker;
Tongue-lighting photo by Bill Crawford)

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